one eye open.

is how i'm walking through today. or i'm peaking through my fingers. i don't want to have it hit me hard in the face when i get royally rejected by the current guy of my dreams. i'm completely anticipating the worst right now. music man too tired, work went late, crushed by ufo...something is bound to come up. i talked to my friend, david, about mr. music and he said that i gave too much too soon. i, personally, don't agree. i teased! i held back...a little. what's a girl to do when you've got this amazing, sexy body on top of you. just to clarify though i did say it has been a month and a half, meaning NO sex yet. so i have kept that at bay.

so the ultimate question is, why am i questioning? why am i left wondering what i could have done wrong? and why is it impossible to take your own advice? i always tell my girlfriends no man should ever make you question whether or not he's into you, but maybe i'm just too into him and my analytical mind is ruining it on its own. my mind is my own little psycho girlfriend. ugh. gross! as if!

bottom line- i've basically decided that, since mr. music knows that tonight would be the last night he can see me before he leaves to his music festivities, if he doesn't that should say how he really feels...right? riiiiiiiight?! right.


*little update* i figured i would go to class with the champagne and my nightly medicine (so i can take it at his house) juuuust in case he calls. that way i can feel like a fool when he doesn't. aren't i the epitome of hope?