two is better than one and a little french.

now may be a good time to mention that there isn't just one man in my life at the moment. though i will say that when, or shall i say if, things with music become more serious this will no longer be a ménage à trois. the situation is not so much about the sex when it comes to Slow...though. with us, its on an emotional level. now, we definitely have our great talks, he's one of my best friends, but it definitely can get steamy. i can't deny that even the slightest text or thought can send me down oh! avenue.

the negative: he lives 4 hours away and since we reconnected after graduating from high school 4 years ago we haven't been able to get together face-to-face. oh, we've skyped, we've emailed, we've texted, we've im'ed, we've chit-chatted on the phone, we've done everything but snail mail. we talk on a bi-daily basis, if not daily. but until he moves back after he graduates in june it won't go any further than what it is. i'm wondering if i even want it to anymore. when one says that they don't want to "ruin the friendship" most people say that "they're just not that into you." the thing is, i am. i am completely and entirely just that into him. but truthfully, losing him to a ugly breakup, even after a great relationship, doesn't look as pretty as having him as a friend for life.

what's scarier than the relationship is the déjà vu. i've been here before with a guy who was my best friend for 8 years. every time he got a girlfriend i would be left in the dust. when that girlfriend was gone he would tell me that i'd always be his number one girl and his best friend. well here we are in our "23 has a girlfriend/i can't talk to little" stage again and this time i'm afraid it might be permanent. i don't want to go through the pain of that with Slow. my 8 year break up is still hurting and living in the same city as well as having the same friends doesn't help.

come hell or high water, this will not happen with Slow!