i wish someone had written this to me when i was in high school. i've been wanting to do a post with a letter to the littler little; this fueled my want even more. high school was rough for me...at least the first 2 years. i can proudly claim the right to the worst reputation of my graduating class. i would walk down the halls and get called a whore. these assholes alienated me so much that by the time i left i had no friends.
why did i get this rep? because in 9th grade i dated a guy that one of the bitches liked. so her way of making me pay was by spreading rumors about my fake slut status. if there was ever a time i can say i was clinically depressed, it was then.
i tried telling people. tried reaching out. mainly to my parents. i was repeatedly told to suck it up. the final straw came when i was attacked by 20 girls and blocked in by at least 50 people when i was walking home from school. none of the bitches laid a hand on me..could have been because i looked like a retarded, blind octopus and tried to hit anything within reach. the only person i was with (a guy friend) said he saw nothing because he was threatened. told my parents i wouldn't go back unless they let me transfer to a new school. that was the last time they ever listened to my cries for help (except for the 1500 to help with my debt). my last 2 years of high school were how they should have been. i was happy. i made friends. i didn't get called an std while walking to class every day. winning! yes, i just channeled my inner charlie sheen.
so what would i tell my younger self? to ask for help sooner. to not listen to what other people say and to change my situation before it gets worse. i'd tell my younger self to not be a nanny and keep a real job. to read style mags and sites so i'm not ashamed of my lame fashion sense. i'd tell myself not to date the asshole i met in math class. to not even speak to him...you'll be better off, dear. to pay more attention to what i really love and do what i'm best at. i'd change some mistakes i'd made but keep others because it made me discover who i really am, what i believe in and the people that i don't need.
more importantly i would tell myself, just wait. you will have your sweet revenge in about 3 years when all these girls that called you a whore will be whales with at least 2 kids from more than 1 baby daddy. while you are still doing and discovering what you love. be happy that you aren't the one sinking into a downward spiral called too much dirty sex and donuts.