so what's happenin' hot stuff? well...a lot. the end. notttt.
well, well, well.
jack is gone. he got a bit crispy at dinner last sunday and i decided to not go any further (i wasn't having the best time so i got a bit quiet and he got mad..."alright, this date is over. you can go now" while we're still sitting there). sorry but i'm not too bummed over pancake boy.
the other date i went on went well but, unfortunately, i am not attracted to him. i would love to stay friends but i don't know if that can happen considering we came very close to having sex.
the fourth, and last, guy that i met off of there is perfect so far (we'll call him lloyd). BUT i'm keeping my guard up because there is rarely any guy that i date that doesn't have a monster hiding in the closet just waiting to pounce when i let down my walls...or open the door. the thing is, he is understanding, he cares, he's sexy, he's kinky, he knows what he wants to do and may already have a job lined up at the most famous skateboarding site in the u.s., he wants to talk to me, wants to see me, PAYS (ha), and is now my date to my cousins wedding. "i'm in love, i'm in love, and i don't care who knows it!" (can you name that movie?)
last weekend i spent the night 2x. the second time we went to dinner in burbank, where i learned that you get a ticket for pressing the crosswalk button more than once. i guess you could say it was an educational night. i also learned that we like the same kind of food and we both are down to try something new. i can walk around with him and not feel nervous, but i do feel more happy than i've ever been in a relationship. maybe that's because i'm ready for one.
i think that when you think you're ready because you so desperately want to be you rush in. you don't recognize the fact that even though the front of your mind and the outer parts of your heart say you want it, the deeper you go, the more monsters there are for you to parade. once you're ready you just have to wait for that person to walk into your life and say "hey! i'm ready too. i have normal monsters and so do you, and that is perfectly ok." it's easy. of course not all of it will be easy and that is something i'm ok with too. i took my time, dated different guys, realized i like blondes more than brunettes (maybe because my ex was brunette), i hooked up, had sex, had great sex, had bad sex. it's time now. and i'm not scared. he takes my hand and walks me through it.
today is "meet my parents" day. i didn't want him to go to the wedding without meeting em first. so we'll see how this goes. fingers crossed.
my dress for the wedding. gonna pair it with some black heels.
the movie that the quote is from. elf! duhhh! :)