well, hello. long time no see. i have taken a bit of an unintentional break from the blog. big and i are taking a break. there was just too much fighting and no real commitment. i may be young but i'm at the point where if i'm going to give my time to someone, i want them to be someone that i can spend years with. big and i...or at least i think its mutual...love each other. the bottom line is we need space and time apart. do i think we'll get back together? i'm not really sure. we hung out for the first time in 2 weeks last sunday...and things got frisky. i asked if he had been considering us (yes). his answer was surprisingly easy for me to accept:
still not ready for a relationship.
that was all i needed to hear to know that i was/am doing the right thing. and that i don't regret the sex. sex woud have been regrettable had i tried to fix this relationship for the 20 billionth time. luckily, that wasn't the case.
so what has this little been up to for the past 2 and a half weeks? drinking my ass off. i spent a lot of time in la without big, which was weird. but new friends mean new adventures. and there have been many.
thanksgiving is one day away. i offered to spend it with big, but he turned that down. not really sure how i feel about that. i mean, if you love someone, isn't that what the holidays are for? spending them with the people that you love? oh well. his loss. only, he's losing more than just a thanksgiving adventure. guess the big question that will need to eventually be answered is whether or not he cares.