i am so disappointed in:
1. friend - this person can go to hell. that is where this person belongs. when things were finally lightening up between e and i this asshole decided to swoop in and ruin everything. they were rude and disgusting to him and now i am the one that is being blamed. this person was hardly a friend in the first place. they had no right to intrude the way they did. they had no right to say the disgusting things they did. i am embarrassed and hurt.
2. e - to blame me for something i did not do and to treat me as though i did hurts. i've been in your shoes. i did not blame people who were not at fault. i did not deserve the anger that resulted from said friend to be directed towards me. i did not deserve you telling me to fuck off when i had done nothing wrong. that is the bottom line. i defended you. i fought for you and i cut someone out of my life for you. because you were the one that mattered. i don't understand why that is so hard to understand.
once again, i know that there is someone out there that will love me for who the fuck i am.
out of all of this there is some light. last night i ran into someone (we'll call him mr. fitz) after almost a year to the date of meeting each other the first time. pretty crazy. it was a fantastic night. my friend, charlotte, came out and we actually drank together and had a blast.
this weekend i am going to san diego for fitz's birthday and to train for my new job as a bridal consultant, which could not have come at a worse time...yay, i'm so happy for your great relationship that i don't have.
p.s. i really need to update the list.